I ‘exposed’ myself in the interview below for the Sunday Times in order to raise awareness of course, but yes, there was a part of me that rebelled and thought why should they get away with it? ‘They’ being the Executors of my deceased partner’s Estate, who are all in denial, happy to see me living in poverty unable to carry on painting and sculpting (my partner’s dying wish) because I can’t bloody well afford it. Never mind tubes of paint I can hardly afford to eat let alone paint. Which leads me neatly on to the subject of this Easter blog – food.

Because I was featured in it, I splashed out and bought a few copies of The Sunday Times. To get my money’s worth (the Times don’t come cheap!) I actually read it – although you need very long arms or a big dining table to spread it on and preferably a butler called James to turn the pages for you. My arms these days are nowhere near long enough (where’s James when you need him). Because of my age, or possibly the meds, I am shrinking like a tabloid.

I came upon an article entitled, “Obey the hourglass, keep ageing at bay.”

The doctor behind a new diet coming to Britain claims it slows the process of growing old. Kris Verburgh, a Belgian doctor (as opposed to an Irish country and western singer!) has written a book called The Food Hourglass. Verburgh is a researcher in biogerontology – the science of getting old to you and me. According to Verburgh, if we want to live a long and healthy life our diet should consist of mainly fruit and vegetables.

“Fruit and vegetables contain toxic compounds that act as a wake- up call to our cell defence mechanisms and turn off our ageing switches.”

Shame he just didn’t tell us where our switches were then we could have turned them off ourselves.

Verburgh says, “essentially vegetables don’t like to be eaten so they protect themselves with toxins.”

Well why did he have to go and say a thing like that? Anyway how does he know – do his carrots say put me down you dirty rat – James Cagney impression. Does his lettuce shy away from him? I’ve just bought a living lettuce from Aldi and now I can’t eat it, every time I go near it with the scissors it looks at me reproachfully.

Before reading that article I’d already blown the entire weekly budget on a pile of fruit and veg in an attempt to comply with the governments new regulations/orders to eat seven not five portions of fruit and veg a day. Who’s got the bloomin’ time I want to know, not to mention the cash. That means actually eating seven things a day which is beyond any pensioner’s budget. Lady Doodles eats better than I do and my son eats everything else. I have started to stash things away like a hamster, not in my cheeks I hasten to add, although come to think of it it’s not a bad idea and cheaper than Botox.

I must admit I felt like going into hibernation after exposing myself  again to the media, although at least it wasn’t for page two of the Sun, although at my age and in my condition chance would be a fine thing! HIV can to that to you anyway of course, make you feel like hiding yourself away – it’s called hivernation.

Well, I’d better go and scavenge for a bit of sustenance, ageing or otherwise. Eat to live another day. No chance I suppose that the Easter Bunny will leave me a chocolate egg, or even a boiled one, preferably with soldiers.

Verburgh says by following his hourglass diet he’s aiming for the ripe old age of ninety. Actually to me that that doesn’t seem so far off!


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